Disguising Myself and Running Away Again and Again in Dream Meaning

The following is an extract from Pandemic Dreams by Deirdre Barrett.


I looked downwardly at my stomach and saw dark blueish stripes. I "remembered" these were the kickoff sign of being infected with COVID-19.

My spaceship was supposed to be heading back to earth merely it got diverted to Saturn, and I ended up but living in that location alone.

My home was a COVID-19 test center. People weren't wearing masks. I'thou taken aback because I wasn't asked to be a test site. I'm worried that my husband and son (who actually lives out of state) volition catch information technology considering of my chore every bit a healthcare worker.

I was a giant antibody. I was then angry about COVID-xix that it gave me superpowers, and I rampaged effectually attacking all the virus I could detect. I woke so energized!

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Pandemic Dreams

Since the COVID-xix pandemic swept effectually the world, and we began to shelter-in-place, people have reported unusually active dream lives. We're remembering more dreams than usual, and those dreams are especially vivid and bizarre. The virus itself is the star of many—literally or in one of its metaphoric guises.

As a dream researcher at Harvard Medical School, I was immediately curious to run into what our dream lives would tell us about our deepest reactions to this new disaster. I had studied the dreams of ix/eleven survivors, of Kuwaitis during the first Gulf State of war, and dreams from POWs in WWII concentration camps. What patterns from these by crises would we come across again? What dream metaphors would be unique to the current pandemic? And most important, how might a better understanding of our collective dream lives assist us every bit we move through this crunch, and beyond?

Related Segment

Why COVID Dreams Are Weirder Than Normal

In late March, I began to collect dream reports via an online survey. The response to this has been overwhelming—more than ix,000 dreams from over three,700 dreamers, all effectually the globe.

Pandemic Dreams discusses why our dreams have been so vivid since this began, and explores different forms the crisis is taking in our dreamlife—characterizing major themes in these dreams and what they symbolize. It offers guidance on how we can all-time utilize our newly supercharged dream lives to assist us through the crisis and across. It explains practical exercises for dream interpretation, reduction of nightmares, and incubation of helpful, trouble-solving dreams. It too examines the larger arena of what these collective dreams tell us about our instinctive, unconscious responses to the threat and how nosotros might integrate them for more livable policies through these times.

Many of the book's generalizations and examples rely on my survey, merely it also includes the longer conversations I've had with people about their dreams during the pandemic and draws on my by crunch dream collections for comparing. The book is divided into five capacity addressing different aspects of pandemic dreams; each ends with a practical exercise y'all can use with that category of dream.

I'1000 Catching The Virus!

I have a reoccurring dream that we get a knock on our door and exterior are people in hazmat suits. The door no longer opens considering we haven't used it in then long. The hazmats tell us someone in our domicile has COVID-19 as confirmed by Parliament. Since were unable to become out, we are going to die of information technology.

A common category of dreams in my survey is simply of catching the virus. Dreamers have trouble breathing or spike a fever. Other symptoms are more dreamlike: one adult female sees a dark aureola from a person she passes on the street touch on her body and knows that it has infected her. Some other looks down and notices bright blueish stripes on her tum and remembers that'due south the first sign of infection. Variations include one's children or elderly parents coming down with the virus.

Dreamers may be tested for the disease. Many tests are swabs much similar the waking process. Others deviate from existent life:

My married man and I are taking a test to see if we have the virus. They await just like those white plastic home-pregnancy tests. Both of u.s.a. accept a pink line—positive.

I'thousand taking a COVID-19 test. Only information technology'southward a sit-down multiple option exam and I can't figure out any of the answers. They tell me I failed and I accept the disease.

Realizing one has the virus is often the end of the dream. Other times, it initiates a search for help. An array of attitudes toward the medical system play out on the dream stage. Some dreamers struggle incessantly to get to a hospital ("The streets in my boondocks have inverse; I don't recognize anything and people won't direct me—they only cough.") or try to get attending once there ("the medical staff was marching and staring straight ahead; I wondered if they had been replaced by androids"). Others locate a dr. or nurse who gives them an injection or pills to cure them. Many times it is more than ambiguous: "I get a shot of something to relieve symptoms and potentially cure the disease but it's unclear if information technology will work."

Unconscious fears of doctors and of government show up in dreams of menace in the guise of aid:

I'm about to be given a shot that will care for it, but I saw "cyanide" on the syringe and realized they were euthanizing everyone that had the virus.

At the height of the escalator, they were giving a vaccine. But everyone who got vaccinated staggered away and died.

It's interesting to note what the detail dream scenario depicts near the dreamer's sense of vulnerability, their own efficacy, and the ability or willingness of healthcare professionals to help.

Mortuaries are another source of decease-feet and a staple of horror picture show settings. One adult female dreamed of evil morticians similar to other's depictions of doctors-equally-villain:

I am walking past a building and come to a white door with a sign which reads: "Only Self Embalming in Florida" (BTW….I alive in New York).
And then, I walk in.
I meet a white bathtub with a gray liquid on the lesser and the man in the white lab coat says, "We dispose of the elders."
I go through a door into the adjacent room and whatever was going on in there, I realized the Elders they were embalming and cremating were non dead nevertheless.
I ran out of at that place……and woke upwards!

A few dreamers are unafraid when they go the disease. They're using the possibility to play out practical plans. One female parent dreams that she and her children all have the virus, denoted by white patches at the back of their throat. She calls her supervisor at piece of work to say she will not be coming into the function for the next two weeks while they quarantine. She'd been wanting to work from home at the time of the dream. Another dream found an ingenious way to distance the dreamer from her fears:

I was playing a Sims-similar game, only it was more immersive, and in VR. In that location was a Sim who was me—she looked like me, had my name. She was also in quarantine. She wandered effectually her house, being generally bored and looking for things to exercise. There was a sidebar of active effects and inventory. Suddenly, in that sidebar, at that place popped upwards a new upshot: "COVID-19." My Sim was flushed. She started having trouble animate. She savage to the floor, writhing, holding her pharynx, her chest. I watched as the footling digital figure fought against the tightness in her chest, and she started sweating profusely. So I woke up. Weirdly, it wasn't an feet dream. I'm sure the dream itself stemmed from my worries nigh the pandemic, merely I had no emotional reaction to the dream itself.

Some dreams that seem to exist about the pandemic, draw their imagery from science fiction:

After watching Contagion, I dream that I get COVID-nineteen and can physically experience myself suffocating, vision blacking out, physical pain. I know I'm dying.

… My friends were at that place in their Outbreak type PPE and I got upset that they had PPE and I didn't.

… and it's similar that scene in Pandemic where trash has piled up …

We'll get to suggestions about managing anxiety dreams soon, but a heads-up now:bedtime streaming of disaster flicks near viruses devastating the planet won't make that listing.

A final category of literal dreams about the virus dramatizes the necessary precautions for the dreamer. Whatsoever time we are learning new material, it is likely to show up in our dreams. This has been documented for everything from foreign languages to video games. Memory consolidation seems to be ane of the tasks in which dreams play a role. In late March and Apr, people were learning to altitude half-dozen feet apart, wear masks, and wash their hands and surfaces more than they ever had. Their dreams practiced these precautions. Dreamers might realize they aren't wearing masks and accept come too close to someone. In other cases, the dreamers do everything perfectly just another character coughs on them or stands also close. The dream frequently starts in a blissfully pandemic-unaware earth and remembering our electric current situation provides a motivating jolt:

Recurring dream: I am in the procedure of trying to do something that is otherwise Important or responsible, like waiting in line to vote or belongings my best friend 's brand new infant, and suddenly realize I'm not wearing a mask. I feel ashamed and dirty, and like I need to leave immediately, but I haven't yet done the affair I came there to do, and I leave feeling guilty about both.

I have my elderly female parent, aunt, and friend into a crowded mall. All of a sudden I realize that I forgot about the virus and nobody, including the states, has masks on.

Early on on in the pandemic, I dreamed that I ran into a European friend who gave me a double-cheek buss greeting and then we both recoiled in horror and tried to effigy out how to undo it.

I am in a packed eating place, eating, laughing; I experience ebullient. I'm having drinks with my friends. We all reconvene in the restroom when I suddenly realize how dangerous the state of affairs is. No masks! No social distancing! Too many people laughing and talking loudly right next to 1 some other! I panic and try to explain only no one will listen to me. I'm frantic to get my friends to sympathize the danger repeatedly but they blow me off.

Some condom-practicing dreams are more surreal:

I'm at my chorus rehearsal. Several people are coughing. I feel it would be gauche to tell them they have the virus, and so I just try to hold my breath equally I sing.

When I woke up, all I could retrieve was that I'd washed something wrong or violated a dominion, and my penalisation was having to shake an space line of hands.

I am at the sunny, yellow ballroom trip the light fantastic studio. No one else is effectually. I am stretching. Another me is tucked upwardly in the corner, holding her (my) knees up to her chest. I and me have to maintain our distance from each other.

1 young Australian adult female who had completely ignored the early announcements of safety measures which she regarded as cool had a dream that pointed out the necessity dramatically to her waking self:

I had a dream that I threw a party after new restrictions were put in place, and a comically large corporeality of people attended. It felt very crowded, and I didn't realize how risky throwing a party is in these times was until later on in the dream, when Scott Morrison (Australian Prime Minister) sent out secret agents to bust people breaking the new isolation rules.

The dreamer said she awakened from the dream with a new appreciation that she had ameliorate attend to the wellness guidelines she'd been ignoring for the past week.

Bugs, Bugs, Bugs

There was a tarantula that was somehow besides COVID-nineteen coming thru the mail slot. (I have no post slot)

I dreamt I had a roach infestation and that two of my friends had got it and one had died.

In one I call up very conspicuously, foreign bugs (similar a centipede or millipede) were released into a room where I was sleeping. Nosotros could only discover one bug of many, and then I was terrified to sleep until the other bugs were located.

Not all dreams nigh the virus are literal. After 9/eleven, I saw some metaphoric dreams. Even so, due to the dramatic images associated with that event, a bulk dreamed of buildings falling, planes keen into things and/or hijackers with knives. Our dreaming mind is intensely visual, so when information technology feels fear, it searches for an image to match that feeling. Bugs express what many are feeling about COVID-19. Swarms of flight insects—bees, hornets, wasps, gnats, horseflies—assail. Masses of toxic worms writhe in front of dreamers. Armies of cockroaches race toward them. Bedbugs, stink bugs. Ane adult female dreamed of giant grasshoppers with vampire fangs.

They are the definitive metaphor now partly because of our slang employ of the word "bug" to hateful a virus or other disease, as in "I've got a bug." As I mentioned in the Habitation Alone 2 cardboard cutouts instance, dreams frequently represent words with visual images in pun-like fashion. At a deeper level, withal, lots of tiny entities that cumulatively could harm or impale yous makes a perfect metaphor for COVID-nineteen.

Invisible Monsters

I dreamed they had started evacuating London only I was stuck there. I could encounter a "ghost" or "force" moving from i apartment to the other. It was possessing people and moving through them. And then it jumped from the edifice beyond onto my balcony and into me—that's when I woke up terrified.

… Information technology was right behind me, breathing in low heaves and grabbing with invisible long fingers and hands. Information technology was a dark, violent and hungry entity.

I'yard with my family and lover and we're existence chased by silent, well-nigh invisible rats. I merely meet their tiny eyes and flashes of teeth behind us as we run.

Another metaphoric fauna unique to this epidemic is the invisible monster. Some dreamers must cross exposed outdoor areas and know at that place are monsters that could kill them only which they can't spot. Others wander through building complexes and hear steps backside them or spot subtle shadows moving when they can't straight see the monsters. One adult female dreamed that she was watching others existence knocked downwards one by i. Terrible wounds appeared on their bodies until they died but she couldn't run across the attacking animate being. She remembered that it could jump to anyone within 6 feet after their former victim's death and realized she was standing also shut. As with bugs, the invisible monsters oasis't appeared after other crises but are unique to the elusive imagery of the coronavirus.

Invitations From The Dead

My female parent and grandmother are deceased. At the beginning of the outbreak, they both came to me in my dream. I was totally surprised and happy to run across them again. I asked why they were there and they said in unison, "We are here to get you." I knew what that meant and asked, "Now?" To which they both nodded yes. I said let me pack starting time, they smiled at each other, laughed and said, "you won't need anything". Simply they allow me pack anyway. Instead of clothes, I picked upwards a photograph frame that was showing movies of my life and memories with them. I laughed and cried and realized, it's been a good life but I was withal hesitant to go out. They slowly walked out of the room and faded away. I knew I was supposed to follow them and headed for the door. I oasis't dreamt most them or the virus since. I hope it was my fears manifesting themselves and not a sign of what is coming.

In Decease Shall Have No Dominion, Charles Jackson observes, "The dead have largely lost their social importance, visibility, and impact in American order. Connection between the globe of the dead and that of the living has been largely severed and the dead earth is disappearing. It is a radical departure because for three centuries prior, life and decease were non held apart." The rule of the dead in dreams, however, has non diminished. The most distinctive characteristics of dreams include the breaching of waking logic, social taboos, and deprival. Although modern trends may take decreased belief in the veracity of the dead returning in dreams, they have done goose egg to stem their occurrence.

Dreams from the pandemic survey feature summons from the dead worthy of folktales. Ane woman is invited to interruption lockdown for a family unit picnic, just, upon arrival, discovers that the other attendees are the deceased co-operative of her family, rather than the living. Another dreamer arrives at a fancy party, and is offered a seat next to a corpse. A woman orders an Uber and a hearse arrives for her instead.

The loss of loved ones and desire to be with them again has people dreaming well-nigh the deceased in normal times. But currently news stories of ambulances carrying off people who are non seen by their families once more or of bodies in refrigerated trucks parked outside hospitals and nursing homes stir up a new horror well-nigh bloodshed—and pandemic dreams are often about the immediate awareness that we could die of this.

Ane adult female sees her deceased loved ones in a classic tunnel of light, but then she sees something else behind that vision:

I dreamt I was having a near death experience. I was in a dark tunnel with a lite at one terminate. My dead relatives were at that place beckoning me towards the calorie-free. My mom said, "Come up dearest." I realized it wasn't really her, and I shouted, "That is not an expression my real mother would utilize—bear witness your true selves!" The people turned into demonic vampire bats. They were bitter a homo who had died, and sucking out his memories. I could see hollow outlines of those already emptied floating at the end of the tunnel of low-cal. I fled—presumably to the living.

Other Metaphors For The Virus

Whatsoever horrible event can exist bandage as the source of fear the dreamer feels near the invisible coronavirus:

This recurring dream started when COVID was condign recognized as a pandemic. In the dream, I was with my family unit at the beach. I knew there was a tsunami coming because I could see the signs—the tide going out. I was trying to tell my family and they thought I was over-reacting. My son was particularly annoyed with me for ruining the vacation. I started telling strangers there was a seismic sea wave coming and they ignored me, too. Finally a huge wave came in and battered the houses. I knew this was just the start and so I was trying to round up my family and others, telling them that, "We demand to leave now." When I awoke, I knew this dream had to do with all of the try I had been making to get protective masks for my employees and prepare my workplace for the pandemic, as well as convince my family to take protective measures.

Tsunamis, tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes, wildfires, and mass shooters are some of the common metaphors one sees in dreams near whatsoever disaster. One dreamer covered much of this listing until she made ane significant life change:

I had abiding dreams of glowing jellyfish, crumbling and groovy roads that were impossible to go out of without rolling the car, family unit members lined up on the wharf with a tidal moving ridge coming, flying whales, blimps crashing over the sea, pushing boats across coral & rocks to safety with family and friends in the boat, rollercoasters, hiding & running & packing holding…..only all catastrophic dreams came to an abrupt halt when I fabricated the decision to leave work and stay home with the virus starting to get out of hand….the VERY first night!!

Metaphoric dreams may also make direct reference to some detail of this pandemic—interspersing the scary visual metaphor with actual guidance. New York's Governor Cuomo tells people they have to shelter in identify considering of the swarms of bugs or shooters in the streets. President Trump announces there is no tsunami, calling it "fake news." Over again our oh-so-visual dreams seem to take produced images worthy of these precautions and debates.

Action: Reducing Anxiety Dreams

"Try to pose for yourself this job: not to think of a polar bear, and you will see that the cursed affair will come to mind every minute."

– Fyodor Dostoevsky, Wintertime Notes on Summer Impressions, 1863

Research on ironic process theory, or "the white bear problem," confirms that deliberate attempts to muffle specific thoughts brand them more likely to surface, so it is unproductive to try to suppress anxiety-producing or depressing topics. If you are disturbed by repetitive feet dreams, you exercise not want to expend energy struggling not to take them. The all-time remedy is to think of what dreams you would enjoy.

Perhaps at that place'south a loved 1 you lot tin't exist with right now who you'd similar to visit with in your dreams? Or a favorite holiday spot? Many people relish flight dreams. Maybe you have one all-time favorite dream you'd similar to revisit? With what we call "dream incubation," borrowed from the term used at the aboriginal Greek dream temples, yous can suggest to yourself what you would like to dream as you lot fall comatose.

Dreams are extremely visual, so an image is particularly likely to get through to your dreaming mind. Picture that favorite person, place, or yourself soaring to a higher place it all. Or replay that favorite dream in detailed scenes. If images don't come easily to you lot, place a photo or other objects related to the topic on your nighttime table as the terminal affair to view before turning off the light. Repeat to yourself what you desire to dream nearly every bit you drift off to sleep.

The technique makes for a pleasant feel as you're falling asleep and profoundly raises the odds that your dreaming mind will honor your request.


Copyright © 2022 by Deirdre Barrett


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About Deirdre Barrett

Deirdre Barrett is an assistant professor of Psychology in the Section of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

chambersbobegir.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.sciencefriday.com/articles/pandemic-dreams-excerpt/

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